Permission slip for Brazil trip.

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:​

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

 

 

 

​Time of return

Date:​Time of departure:​         NOT to exceed:​

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women.  I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)​  Beer​  Wine​     Liquor​Total

Location:​From:​To:​

Location:​From:​To:

Location:​From:​To:

​

Locations to be visited

 

 

 

 

Females with whom conversation

is permitted

 

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not with standing the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer.  Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

​

 

 

 

Request is: APPROVED              DENIED

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

 

 

 

Date:​Time of departure:​Time of return:

 

 

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:​

Mr Debonair - Mr Keith Richardson

Keith will be running our security detail while in Brazil. He is a highly trained killing machine and can double as an excellent cook & mechanic.  Keith hails from Worksop and is a proud Sheffield United fan. Only teasing, Big Keith supports the Owls the one time great Sheffield Wednesday. 

Maybe one day soon an Arabian prince will buy the owls and import all the great foreign players to make Sheffield great again just like Man Shitty. 

Keith's nickname is big nose, not quite sure of its origin. He has been in intensive training for our upcoming trip, he has put in long hours in many different fancy wine bars & taverns just so he can keep up the pace with Les ( soon to be introduced as a principle ) and not to be left out Devo. This trio could put the wind up Oliver Reed & Keith Moon. 

Keith has played football with our team since the early 90s, recently his promising career was cut short, he was  in his prime with a possible call up to the national team on the cards. He had to have knee replacement surgery, he opted out of the 2 for 1 deal, which was he coulda had brain surgery also. 

This photo was taken the day of Keith's wedding, as it goes Little legs was spinning the records that night. Their was much fun & merriment and  a good time was had by all. 

It's just a little over 4 weeks till I depart and already the panic has started, I'll be a right nervous nelly on that plane. 

Devo & Stevie

Here are 2 principles players in my Brazilian experience, my life will be in there hands. Good god I'm Donald Ducked ( the technical term for f:;k/d )

Stevie is our mate from San Rafael, some years ago he moved to Fortaleza in Brazil. As luck would have it the World Cup 2014 is in Brazil and we have a gaff to stay at.  

Poor  Ana Stevie's missus having a tsumani of gargle monsters heading her way. 

Devo  (on my right side in pic )is our cultural atashe , he will be running daily excursions during our visit.  His assistant Les ( yet to be introduced as a principle character ) will be helping with day to day operations for our visit to the football Mecca. 

It is shaping up to be a grand trip, the excitement is building. 

Meanwhile back in Fortaleza Stevie or little legs ( his nickname ) is busy with  preparations for our stay. 

 Stevie is a tremodous host and also an awful man for the impromptu discho, Lino Ritchie will be setting the night alight at the Dufster's gaff. 

Will all this excitement it's time for me to sign off for now, it's not all bloody glammer. 

Liverpool FC- the 80s

My favorite football team is Liverpool FC I've followed them since I was a young lad.

My favorite players were Kenny Dalglish and Ian Rush, they were brill, the most feared team in the world. 

When I was a kid the real reds would win the league nearly every year.  I would save up a few bob just so I could go cheer on the Reds at Anfield, the home of Liverpool Football Club. 

I had hoped that one day I would jog onto the the Anfield pitch not as a supporter but as a player, alas that dream was never realized.   A big barrier in this was my brother-in-law Jim mcgrath, let me explain...

 Today on a phone call home to my sister I was reminded about the time when her now husband came into our lives. 

I was an up-and-coming footballer  with a bright future when disaster struck, Jim McGrath my brother-in-law ate us out of house and bloody home. No wonder I didn't make it as a footballer, I was malnourished, he suggested I take up snooker I promptly did so and nicked his two-piece snooker cue into the bargain. 

Me and Sam Bolger  would go on the bunk from school and go practice snooker down in a dodgy snooker hall named Bills. I think the little bloke from fantasy island worked there at the time. 

My snooker  hit a brick wall and I decided I would probably have to emigrate to America, well something like that anyway.

Ever since I left home in 1989 it's been very very barren times for the Reds. Tomorrow sees the last game of the season and if Liverpool win and Man Shitty lose we will win the title for the first time in 20+ years, it's unlikely that city will lose at home but you've got a dream. 

Go on the reds.  YNWA.....

Introducing Stevie ( host ) and Keith the janitor for my Brazilian trip.

This is Stevie Duffy (right) and Keith Richardson. We all met each other off the proverbial boat in the early 90s and became great friends. Stevie moved to Brazil and Keith to NY via several other interesting places. The gang is getting back together for the biggest dishco in the world. 

We all played football together in the early 90s  (although you might use a different word for it if you were on the sidelines )  these are the geezers keeping me on the straight & narrow during the trip. It's hard to believe the shenanigans that we got up to in the old days, in this pictures they look like a right pair of wally's ( wanted to be nice and not say wankers 😉 )

We plan on playing football on the beach, when we're not watching games we will be playing, although I think it might be a slow paced game with many breaks for  refreshments not to mention oxygen tent visits.   

I think both Stevie & Keith will be doing full Brazilian wax as they are both Brits and insist on wearing speedos. 

Tudlipip for now. 

My Early World Cup Memories

My first World Cup I remember was 74 in West Germany, I was 8.

Like all world cups  they are played over most of June and into early July so the weather wasn't too bad in Dublin. It only rained twice, the first rain was Monday to Thursday and the second time was Friday to Sunday😬.

My favorites teams were Holland ( cloggies ) and Scotland ( jocks ). We would reenact our favorite players out on the green in front of our houses. All the lads on our estate would play football out on the green, the game would go on for hours. We would use jumpers as goalposts and goals were decided by the biggest, smartest or most argumentative kid. The game could also end if the owner of the ball was wanted for his dinner. 

We would also play subbuteo, this was a miniature game of football played on a felt pitch. You would flick the plastic figures towards a ball to try score on  your opponent. We had a mini World Cup tournament at Stephen O Reilly's house, he had a brill Subbuteo  set. I played him in the semifinal West Germany v Poland, we used his Ma's egg timer for the clock. The game was going well, I can't remember the score when the match came to an abrupt end as  I puked all over the felt pitch.

It was a disaster, oddly enough I do remember vividly that the sun was out as I went home to recover.

 

That World Cup was won by Ze Germans ( west ) as the beat the much fancied Dutch team led by the brilliant Johan Cryuff. My brother wanted West Germany to win and I remember going out somewhere with the family in me Da's moggy minor ( Morris Minor )for a little drive somewhere. It was pissing down, big bloody surprise and me brother delighted in telling me the Germans won 2-1. I think he heard it on the radio. There was no dvr in those day, we had one tv ( think it was color ) and nearest one to the Telly changed the channel. 

Eight weeks till departure.............😉