On me Way!

Well folks I'm finally on my way to Brazil, I've tried to watch the US v Germany game but it's a no go. So I'm listening instead and no I do not have a cold corona in hand, it's a wee bit early maybe in 10 minutes 😬

I've brought enough clothing to clothe all of Liberia and that's still on the table. There will be a few Brazilian geezers walking round Fortaleza with some Tommy Hilfiger clobber and Nike's come mid-July. 

Anyway here's a pic of me in the air. 

Albert Tatlock.

It would be unfair to give the other lads nicknames and not reveal the nickname that big nose aka Keith likes to call me. It's Albert, after Albert Tatlock a character from a long running drama that airs in the UK called Coronation Street. Albert Tatlock was a cantankerous old geezer with a fairly decent  size  honker, this is the comparison that Keith is trying to draw peoples attention to.

I will agree with the personality comparison, that's fair enough but the honker part although my son seems to get great amusement out of the fact that I call Keith " big nose".

Below is a picture of old Albert and below that is a pic of yours truly, now who's going to say that I've got a big hooter?

Oops I left this lot out.

The Family in Ptown.

The Family behind the trip 🇺🇸

My dear lovely family will be at home working, playing lacrosse and running around like lunatics while I get to swan off to the World Cup in Brazil. My family Lori, Sydney, Pearse, Duncan and wee Riley Smiley Aldwell ( full name) will be holding the fort down at Hogwarts Cir.  The missus has been so supportive in my trek to fulfill a life long dream, I will miss them all very much. 

With less than 3 weeks to go I'm scrambling to get everything ready, I'm a right nervous nelly with all this upheaval and usually the missus is with me to make sure everything goes smoothly. She has often marveled at the fact that I actually make it home everyday. 

This is coming off sounding like I'm a right gobshite, I can hear the peanut gallery chime in as I type. 

Below is a picture of us lot at lunch in ptown

and also a pic of the lads Duncan & Riley. 

Ttfn

Here's my wife's permission slip

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

 

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:​

 

I’m going out.

 

Signed:  (me)______________

Permission slip for Brazil trip.

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:​

 

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

 

 

 

​Time of return

Date:​Time of departure:​         NOT to exceed:​

 

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women.  I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)​  Beer​  Wine​     Liquor​Total

Location:​From:​To:​

Location:​From:​To:

Location:​From:​To:

​

Locations to be visited

 

 

 

 

Females with whom conversation

is permitted

 

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not with standing the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer.  Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

 

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

 

 

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

​

 

 

 

Request is: APPROVED              DENIED

 

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

"……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

 

 

 

Date:​Time of departure:​Time of return:

 

 

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:​

Mr Debonair - Mr Keith Richardson

Keith will be running our security detail while in Brazil. He is a highly trained killing machine and can double as an excellent cook & mechanic.  Keith hails from Worksop and is a proud Sheffield United fan. Only teasing, Big Keith supports the Owls the one time great Sheffield Wednesday. 

Maybe one day soon an Arabian prince will buy the owls and import all the great foreign players to make Sheffield great again just like Man Shitty. 

Keith's nickname is big nose, not quite sure of its origin. He has been in intensive training for our upcoming trip, he has put in long hours in many different fancy wine bars & taverns just so he can keep up the pace with Les ( soon to be introduced as a principle ) and not to be left out Devo. This trio could put the wind up Oliver Reed & Keith Moon. 

Keith has played football with our team since the early 90s, recently his promising career was cut short, he was  in his prime with a possible call up to the national team on the cards. He had to have knee replacement surgery, he opted out of the 2 for 1 deal, which was he coulda had brain surgery also. 

This photo was taken the day of Keith's wedding, as it goes Little legs was spinning the records that night. Their was much fun & merriment and  a good time was had by all. 

It's just a little over 4 weeks till I depart and already the panic has started, I'll be a right nervous nelly on that plane.